Cups of Tea

I read an interesting blog the other day and it got me thinking. The main message was that you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s ok. 

It’s an interesting way to frame it. It made me think of actual tea and how my mood determines what kind of tea I’m after at that moment, and the same goes for the people I surround myself with, there’s the core group, but within the group there’s the chamomile – the person you know that will help chill you down, the fruity ice tea – the person whose always good fun even if it’s just on a summers day and the black tea – the staple go to on a daily basis. 

It made me think of those teas that you take a sip and think straight away, that ones not one for me. And we’ve all had those moments when meeting people. I guess the point of view I’d never considered before was that I may not be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s confronting. Being ok with that may be a gradual process. It’s a great prospective to have and to refer back to. 

Food for thought. 

<insert witty tea reference … nope I’ve got nothing 😂>

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Things that are saving my life ~ 2 kids 8 weeks in

8 weeks into being a family of 4 and there’s some things which I’m even more in love with than I first thought. 

Our Smart Tv, a few months back we had to replace our tv (which was only 3 years old, apparently this is normal nowadays but it totally pissed me off – Anyhoo) we bought a smart tv and boy am I’m glad we did. At the touch of a button I can launch Netflix, you tube and any of the catch up tv websites – so if I’ve gone to bed early with the new baby never fear when we get up somewhere in the early hours we can watch that prime time show we’d missed because we were snoozing! Now that’s winning. The other benefit of You Tube on the tv is that Miss almost 3 has a new love for kids yoga so with a few clicks I can bring up her favourite “frozen yoga” – yes there is such a thing and yes it keeps her occupied for at least half an hour! Now that’s winning!  

The next thing is my FITBIT I never thought that a. I would wear one and b. That I would be addicted but both are true. Firstly it tracks my sleep which I love, having broken nights sleep sucks but it comes with the territory, the beauty of the sleep tracker is that it tells you how much sleep you’ve had even if it’s broken sleep. I’ve found the nights where I’ve had little sleep I’ve been able to recognize this and make a point of daytime catch ups. It’s not just the sleep tracker that’s great there are so many awesome features to write about, but if your keen to keep active and are easily addicted/motivated by stats then it’s the product for you. I even wore mine during labour out of curiosity – but that’s a whole blog post on its own! 

Our Slow Cooker, seriously this thing saves my sanity every time I use it. Throw a bunch of things in there when you can find 5 minutes when your baby/kids are occupied and come 5.30pm dinner will be ready. It’s like a magical unicorn has rode into your home delivering food that tastes like you’ve been slaving over the stove all day. I just can’t get enough of this thing! 

For now these are the things which are saving time, motivating and entertaining me with a new baby in the house. I’m sure if I had one of those robotic vacuums them that would be on this list too 😉

Friendship ending stuff…

I could be about to do something which is without a doubt friendship ending. The thing is over the last year I’ve wondered if the friendship has already ended. Are we just in that polite rut of the odd message here and there, “we should catch up” and then never make plans to do so. 

My guess is that we are already there. But perhaps my next move is the final nail in the friendship coffin. 

I often wonder about the 7-year friendship cycle, the idea that if you stay friends beyond the 7 years then you’ll be friends for life. If I take a step back to evaluate I can’t help but think there’s a lot of truth there. And it also makes me wonder, these people we allow into our lives and share some of the most incredible moments of our lives then disappear or drift off into non friend territory. Do we celebrate what we thought we had at the time and be “ok” with how it is now?  

So the “current now” I have is that a friend I’ve known for about 6 years I haven’t seen in over a year. Initially it wasn’t thru lack of trying. She had her second baby and I saw the signs that she might be having a rough time of it. I offered to do the drop in for a coffee and chat thing but there was always a reason why it wasn’t suitable. So I stopped trying and left the ball in her court. Months passed and the contact lapsed. A few months back I initiated contact, she explained how she’d had a rough time post child #2 and gave me 2 options for catching up, both when I am working and obviously something I can’t do. (Working full time,  6 weeks out from giving birth and with my own toddler) 

I left it a month to respond because I was pissed off. When I finally did respond I explained that those times wouldn’t be times I could meet whilst I’m working. I’m yet to hear a response. But that’s kind of ok. 

See the issue now is that for the last 9 months we’ve been wracking our brains to come up with a great name for our baby #2. We have possibly agreed on one we like. But there is one issue. This friend. 3.5 years ago she told me the name she would name her son.  That son was was her baby #2. At the time I had another friend pregnant and she asked me to ask my friend (who she isn’t friends with) for them to not name their child that name. Even though on both sides that name has significant family importance. Naturally I refused to have that conversation – that’s not my place or business to interfere when someone is choosing the name of their babe. 

So the issue is the name we are leaning towards is a female version of the same name. I know right, how the hell haven’t we just found another name… Believe me I’ve been trying. But so far we’ve turned up zip! 

So you can see why I know that if we do it then without a doubt it’s friendship ending stuff. But maybe it’s already over? Maybe if she cares so little then she won’t care that our kids have a similar name? Who am I kidding… 

So yep, I think I’m about to end things. 

Grocery Trolleys

Have you ever found yourself observing what’s in the cart of people in line at the supermarket check out? 

I’m sort of ashamed to say it, but I can’t help but look and make an observation. The area we live in is full of hippys (and I say that in a loving way) so more often than not their carts are full of chickpeas, kale and lentils, it makes us look like total cavemen with all our meat! 

Today I couldn’t help but notice a Dad and his little girl at the shops, I compared their trolley with mine, the cost difference would be 2-3 times the price (mine being more) and while ours was full of fruits, veggies, dairy, wholegrains etc theirs were full of pre-packaged sugar filled snacks. 

It makes me wonder, is it a cost thing? Is it lack of food education? I wondered how does all of that food affect the child – I know as an adult if I was to eat that much sugar and processed foods I’d feel horrible, and for a small person how does that affect their behaviour or concentration at school? 

Isn’t it insane that healthy food costs so much more. And there’s absolutely ways around that, but usually those take organization, planning or an extra stop at a fruit and veg shop. 

It just makes me wonder what kind of education are young people being given in terms of life skills. I’ve often discussed it with my colleagues – imagine if at high school you were taught instead of how to make scones, how to budget and buy groceries within your means and meal plan (with some food education). Imagine if part of your education to send you off into the world included life skills! Wow – that’s an insane idea huh. 

Santa you jerk! 

It’s mid February and my 2.5yr old still has a beef with Santa. 

You would think she would’ve forgotten about it by now, but clearly the scars of not getting a skateboard are still raw. 

I just overheard the bedtime conversation between my husband and Miss 2.5 – Miss 2.5 questioning why Santa forgot her skateboard? And my husbands explanation that by the time he put the scooter and cubby house in the sleigh there was no more room! Miss 2.5 seems to be understanding the logic but is still annoyed.
 Any guesses how long the beef will last? And any tips on how we can avoid Santa bringing one next year? We spend enough time at doctors and dentists as it is without adding skateboard injuries to the mix!! 

2 Year Old Questions … Asylum Seekers

My 2 year old daughter and I were doing our morning commute one day this week when the 8am news came on the radio. I didn’t think much of it, I was driving along listening, but what I didn’t realise is that my 2 year old was listening too. 

The major story was regarding the relocation of asylum seekers to Nauru, including babies and children. Pediatricians had given advice to the government that the children which they had examined who had been in detention in Nauru were some of the most traumatized children they’d ever encountered. 

Shortly after the news, my daughter asked me “mummy where are they sending the babies?” “Why are they doing that?” 

A two year old asking the question. 

As a parent how do you answer that. I’m sure her ears perked up when she heard “baby” because in the context of her life she is surrounded by babies. 

The only quick response I could muster was “I hope they don’t baby”. … 

Everyone has an opinion on what should/shouldn’t be done. But let’s for a moment put our parent hats on. What if this was us? What if our home lands were too dangerous/volitile for us to remain there? What if out of desperation fled to a foreign land then risked being deported to a detention center where our security and safety was once again at risk? 

We are parents. If we allow this to happen to other families how do we justify that to our children? 

A new project needed! 

I’m at the stage where I think that I need a new project/interest. All I know is that I need something new. 

It’s funny because after the last few months I’ve had no time at all to do anything remotely fun. It’s all been about survival and in the lead up to Christmas it’s about doing what I would have over about 1 month, to do in 1 weekend! Oh my. Anyway that’s tomorrow’s challenge. 

But in the meantime I’ve decided with another stint of maternity leave on the horizon I’m determined to put that energy into something. 

[Ha! Im laughing at myself – who am I kidding, energy. What energy]

What I’m meaning is that after the first 3 months of Maternity leave with my number 1, after the newborn fuzzy days were gone and we got ourselves into a routine, I couldn’t help but get myself sucked into the drama of what was a mothers group. I can see the benefits of that companionship, don’t get me wrong, and gosh I missed my adult conversation that I’d get each day at work, I missed the problem solving and using my brain in the way that you do at work (which is different to being at home). So this time round I think for my sanity/keeping things healthy and positive that I find an interest/hobby/maybe even a part time online gig to use that little bit of downtime in a productive way. 

So it’s lucky I still have 6 months to figure this out. 

Do you have any ideas? 

Surrounded by scumbags

Someone in my office told me a few months ago I’d be surprised how many people I know/know of who are on online dating sites – and she said from the people she’s seen on there not all are single. She was recently separated and must’ve been looking at what’s changed in dating. 

At first I thought it’s sour grapes, surely not, and no I’m not one bit interested to see who these people are. Sometimes it’s easier not knowing. 

Tonight an entirely different colleague showed me a screen shot of a profile she saw last night. A person who we know has a live in girlfriend. It makes me wonder, do these people seek out being “busted” for their antics? Do they love the drama? Seriously what do they think is going to happen? In summary I can’t believe someone seeking out a hook up would post their face and name on a hook up site (one that works off post code/ whose near me crieteria) 

Anyway the discussion shifted to moral dilemmas and repercussions the person would face not only personally but professionally if they were to speak to the girlfriend. It makes me wonder, since when did the scumbag win? Scumbags aren’t supposed to win, karmas supposed to kick that SOB where it hurts. I’m so pleased I never got curious and looked to see who else I know on there, because it’s quite nice burying my head in the sand when it comes to the sordid behaviour of my colleagues! 

My Own Gatekeeper

You may have notice I have posted less recently. It hasn’t been because I’ve lacked inspiration, there has been more than the normal amount of topics I would have liked to write about. Trust me. 

The reason for the lack of posts and why I want to explain my current struggle is because this blog was set up for me to write, to write about things I feel passionate about, things I feel need to be said. The whole point was being authentic and real. 

I’ve found myself being my own gatekeeper. Having ethical dilemmas within myself and questioning deeply if I should write about these topics – the follow the story/ aftermath of one of my earlier post Friendship awkwardness

The most important aspect of blogging I feel is this rawness and if your not going to be authentic then there’s no point. 

Have you had struggles with being your own gatekeeper? 

 

How to be a good house guest in a baby/toddler household

Over the last 2 years we’ve had a fair few house guests. See we moved from an apartment to a house by the beach, so it was bound to happen. But from all of these visitors I’m sure that I now that I know the key principles of being a good house guest. 

  • You may be on vacation but your hosts mightn’t be, relax, chill out, but help out where you can. 
  • Offer to cook a meal
  • If your hosts suggest getting take out its polite of offer to contribute towards the cost, or offer to pay (if you have the financial means) 
  • If their children instigate play with you, you are obliged to play
  • Children wake up early. Be warned parents can’t change this because you want to sleep in.  No one can quieten down a happy toddler in the morning! If a quiet vacation is what you need them get a hotel! 
  • Be mindful of what you say to the toddler and how you say it. Toddlers are sponges 
  • If you’ve taken up a new habit since last seeing your friends it’s probably a good idea to let your friend know before you ask if you can stay. For example – don’t arrive to stay at a non smoking household with a newborn and announce that your now a smoker. (Yes that’s happened) 

The overarching principle is BE MINDFUL. Don’t make life harder for your host. Life with a newborn, toddler or child can be pretty full on.  If  you make their life that little bit easier your friends will welcome you back with open arms anytime!