Cups of Tea

I read an interesting blog the other day and it got me thinking. The main message was that you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s ok. 

It’s an interesting way to frame it. It made me think of actual tea and how my mood determines what kind of tea I’m after at that moment, and the same goes for the people I surround myself with, there’s the core group, but within the group there’s the chamomile – the person you know that will help chill you down, the fruity ice tea – the person whose always good fun even if it’s just on a summers day and the black tea – the staple go to on a daily basis. 

It made me think of those teas that you take a sip and think straight away, that ones not one for me. And we’ve all had those moments when meeting people. I guess the point of view I’d never considered before was that I may not be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s confronting. Being ok with that may be a gradual process. It’s a great prospective to have and to refer back to. 

Food for thought. 

<insert witty tea reference … nope I’ve got nothing 😂>

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Mothers Group for 1

I sit here in a cafe ordering a muffin and a coffee, we’re going to call this morning Mothers group for 1. As a second time Mum I was unsure if I needed a mothers group because I’d been there and done that. It turns out you’re never too experienced to get something out of a new tribe of women. 

Today though when my little one woke with a runny nose I knew the catch up planned wasn’t going to work. As a second time Mum I know kids get sick, it seems like they get sick often! But I won’t be the Mum that exposes a bunch of baby’s to germs – even though the chances are they’ll get sick soon too – from someone else’s bugs. I don’t want the new mums cursing me at midnight as they tend to their snuffled up babe. 

So I sit here with my coffee and muffin hoping my babe will fall asleep in her pram, thinking one of the big differences between new mums and second mums is the “rush”. The first time mums have been keen to try activities with the mothers group. Whereas I’m keen for now for the mothers group to be about the mums, coffee and catch ups, bubs sleeping in prams or playing with toys on the grass. If the kids aren’t on the move why not lap up these waning weeks and let the catch ups be for us. As not a new Mum I know that once the kids are on the move the game changes and then life is all about keeping our babes happy and entertained. But for now let’s be selfish, let’s let these mornings be for us, god knows having company one morning a week is something to look forward to, let’s not hurry this stage of mummyhood. 

So today with my babe and her runny nose, we will sit and chill in a cafe, babe sleeping in her pram and mumma in blogging land, lapping it up. 

Solo Long Haul Mission 

Hit me traveling mummas & papas with your tips/ideas/recommendations… 

Here’s my predicament.. 

I’ll be traveling solo with my “little miss will be 6 months” during the holiday season, long haul from the Australian east coast to the American east coast. Sounds like fun eh! 

So I’m keen for your thoughts/ideas. 

Normally I would be keen to have a stopover each way or fly the cheapest route but since time is of the essence – I want as much time with my family at my destination I’m looking for the easiest/most time efficient/baby friendly journey – is there a thing? I’ll let you know in January – ha ha. 

Ideas on how to secure a bassinet – airlines you’ve had luck with getting one. 

Little miss is breastfed – but doesn’t nurse to sleep and won’t nurse with a cover – tips please! 

Our GP has also recommended against the use of phenergan 👎🏼👎🏼 
So please hit me with your route ideas/airlines/ airports you love for baby facilities/ b-feeding onboard (I know about up & down) oh and any tips you have for going from mid summer to mid winter – and I mean real winter, this kid has never experience actual cold weather ☃

Excess – Mum Life #1

Being excessive, it’s something I’ve been accused of. Loving things that are excessive. It came as a shock. First it was the unnecessary birthday party for my daughter, next it was liking an expensive children’s boutique. 

It’s a funny thing perception. A persons perception of how things are, or how a person is. 

Initially I stepped back and analyzed why someone would have a problem with me throwing a birthday for my child. The conclusion I drew was perhaps they didn’t want to do a birthday party for their own child and felt they in some way needed to justify that decision. The thing that people would understand if they actually got to know me is that I roll to the beat of my own drum, and Im not likely to cast judgement on what someone does or doesn’t do, we are all on our own unique journeys. It puzzled me why someone would have a problem with something I chose to do, sure I had a newborn baby, sure I made an effort to cook food and make a cake but again that’s just me, I like to challenge myself and I like nothing more than hosting – something we used to do in our pre child days ALL THE TIME! It’s funny how doing something we love for someone we love could be seen as excessive. I mean when Miss 3 asked if we could have a bouncy castle or unicorns (ponys dressed up as unicorns) I drew the line. 

The liking a particular store blew me away. I bet if I was to ask 100 women if they liked a particular brand of handbag they’d say yes, that’s not to say they would all go to that store on a regular basis and make a purchase. *shakes head* I was actually dumbfounded that something so trivial could be turned against me in such a negative way. 

Excess..or being excessive is not something I would classify myself as. I sniff out bargains like a drug sniffer dog, I worked out today it has been 5 months since I last had my hair cut or coloured. That my friends is not being excessive! 

I wonder how our world would be for us Queens if we all just decided to get on with our own lives, be happy with the decisions we made, supported one and other on this crazy journey. 

Information Age Moms

If there’s one thing I learned from becomming a mother that some women’s insecurities are loud especially when it comes to parenthood. 

The beauty of parenting in the point in time that we are now is that we have a world of information available to us at the touch of a button. But I wonder, does the reading and the research get in the way of instincts? Does following the “guide to getting your baby to sleep thru the night” and similar ideas prevent mothers from following their own instincts and mothering their own way? 

Being a Mum we gravitate towards other mothers we can relate and usually on any given day it’s likely we’ll have the same struggles. I just can’t help but wonder in the Information Age we are in if mothers are confident in following their own instincts or if somehow all this information makes for less secure women trying to do everything they can, with all the information they can gather become less confident in their own ability to parent their own children. 

Things that are saving my life ~ 2 kids 8 weeks in

8 weeks into being a family of 4 and there’s some things which I’m even more in love with than I first thought. 

Our Smart Tv, a few months back we had to replace our tv (which was only 3 years old, apparently this is normal nowadays but it totally pissed me off – Anyhoo) we bought a smart tv and boy am I’m glad we did. At the touch of a button I can launch Netflix, you tube and any of the catch up tv websites – so if I’ve gone to bed early with the new baby never fear when we get up somewhere in the early hours we can watch that prime time show we’d missed because we were snoozing! Now that’s winning. The other benefit of You Tube on the tv is that Miss almost 3 has a new love for kids yoga so with a few clicks I can bring up her favourite “frozen yoga” – yes there is such a thing and yes it keeps her occupied for at least half an hour! Now that’s winning!  

The next thing is my FITBIT I never thought that a. I would wear one and b. That I would be addicted but both are true. Firstly it tracks my sleep which I love, having broken nights sleep sucks but it comes with the territory, the beauty of the sleep tracker is that it tells you how much sleep you’ve had even if it’s broken sleep. I’ve found the nights where I’ve had little sleep I’ve been able to recognize this and make a point of daytime catch ups. It’s not just the sleep tracker that’s great there are so many awesome features to write about, but if your keen to keep active and are easily addicted/motivated by stats then it’s the product for you. I even wore mine during labour out of curiosity – but that’s a whole blog post on its own! 

Our Slow Cooker, seriously this thing saves my sanity every time I use it. Throw a bunch of things in there when you can find 5 minutes when your baby/kids are occupied and come 5.30pm dinner will be ready. It’s like a magical unicorn has rode into your home delivering food that tastes like you’ve been slaving over the stove all day. I just can’t get enough of this thing! 

For now these are the things which are saving time, motivating and entertaining me with a new baby in the house. I’m sure if I had one of those robotic vacuums them that would be on this list too 😉

The Newborn Bubble

It’s just occurred to me I’ve been living in the Newborn Bubble for 4.5 weeks and life has carried on for everyone around me yet I’ve been so swept up in our own existence I haven’t stopped to check in with those around me or further away. 

So my question is, when days fly by with 2 kids and night of little sleep seem to drag, how long is ok to be in the bubble before your officially a selfish asshole? 

The Village

I’ve often heard people say “it takes a village to raise a child” and whilst it doesn’t particularly resonate with me or even us as a family (we live far from family) in recent times I’ve experienced “a village” type of support and I’m beginning to understand. 

The first week with our second baby we were inundated with offers of help, meals and kind messages of support. Those things cannot be underestimated how much of a support they are. The comfort in knowing we could reach out for assistance if we needed it and it’d be there was so reassuring. 

In the past I’ve thought to myself I should take a dinner over or offer to help in some way, often people are reluctant to accept help, but food on the other hand .. Everyone eats! And especially nursing mothers!! The lesson I’ve learned is even if you think someone has a great support system – that you don’t need to get into the mix there are things you can do. Don’t be afraid to be the village. It turns out one or a few people can be the village to someone. It doesn’t have to be “to raise children” it can be to be an extra set of hands for the parents or some small gesture to make a parents life that bit easier. 

Just you wait

It has to be the most annoying thing someone can say to a Mumma-of-two-to-be.  Seriously does that phrase ever follow with anything positive? In my experience, it doesn’t. 

On the verge of 39w of baking baby 2 and my normal non suffering fools self has even less tolerance. Yes, I realise shit is about to get real, yes I know I thought I was busy with one, yes I know life is about to get crazy. But you know what… What parent to be hasn’t already thought that in their own mind, or talked about it with their partner, husband or wife. No one goes into parenting thinking this is going to be a breeze. 

But what if we go into it with a more positive mindset. I seriously think I would give a stranger the biggest hug if instead of “just you wait blah blah *something negative*” they said “just you wait , you will not believe how full of love your heart will be, or how much joy 2 children can bring” 

I realise shits about to get real. I realise we don’t have a village, it’s just us. But I believe in myself and our ability to be a great parents. Hell if I do say so myself I’m rather impressed with the job I’ve done so far with Miss 2. So if we have faith in ourselves, try our best each day and go into it with a positive mindset aren’t we already ahead?! 

Friendship ending stuff…

I could be about to do something which is without a doubt friendship ending. The thing is over the last year I’ve wondered if the friendship has already ended. Are we just in that polite rut of the odd message here and there, “we should catch up” and then never make plans to do so. 

My guess is that we are already there. But perhaps my next move is the final nail in the friendship coffin. 

I often wonder about the 7-year friendship cycle, the idea that if you stay friends beyond the 7 years then you’ll be friends for life. If I take a step back to evaluate I can’t help but think there’s a lot of truth there. And it also makes me wonder, these people we allow into our lives and share some of the most incredible moments of our lives then disappear or drift off into non friend territory. Do we celebrate what we thought we had at the time and be “ok” with how it is now?  

So the “current now” I have is that a friend I’ve known for about 6 years I haven’t seen in over a year. Initially it wasn’t thru lack of trying. She had her second baby and I saw the signs that she might be having a rough time of it. I offered to do the drop in for a coffee and chat thing but there was always a reason why it wasn’t suitable. So I stopped trying and left the ball in her court. Months passed and the contact lapsed. A few months back I initiated contact, she explained how she’d had a rough time post child #2 and gave me 2 options for catching up, both when I am working and obviously something I can’t do. (Working full time,  6 weeks out from giving birth and with my own toddler) 

I left it a month to respond because I was pissed off. When I finally did respond I explained that those times wouldn’t be times I could meet whilst I’m working. I’m yet to hear a response. But that’s kind of ok. 

See the issue now is that for the last 9 months we’ve been wracking our brains to come up with a great name for our baby #2. We have possibly agreed on one we like. But there is one issue. This friend. 3.5 years ago she told me the name she would name her son.  That son was was her baby #2. At the time I had another friend pregnant and she asked me to ask my friend (who she isn’t friends with) for them to not name their child that name. Even though on both sides that name has significant family importance. Naturally I refused to have that conversation – that’s not my place or business to interfere when someone is choosing the name of their babe. 

So the issue is the name we are leaning towards is a female version of the same name. I know right, how the hell haven’t we just found another name… Believe me I’ve been trying. But so far we’ve turned up zip! 

So you can see why I know that if we do it then without a doubt it’s friendship ending stuff. But maybe it’s already over? Maybe if she cares so little then she won’t care that our kids have a similar name? Who am I kidding… 

So yep, I think I’m about to end things.