In recent months I’ve seen a number of friends “like” and “post” on pro-child free groups and while i can appreciate anyone’s life decision, I’m just not understanding the need for people to justify that decision.
When it comes to having kids or not having kids I can see both sides. I wasn’t a girl growing up with the urge to grow up and become a mother, actually not in the slightest! I wanted a career, travel, life experiences that settling down young wouldn’t support. So what did I do from the end of high school to when “settled down” was an 11 year awesome life altering experience combining living abroad in 3 different continents, a uni degree, a diploma, traveling whenever time/funds allowed, working in jobs that I never envisaged, a wedding, buying a house and all that life experience and maturity to get into a role I could never have planned to do, which led to my career. Oh and now we have 1.45 children.
My point is, had I not met my husband and met someone else who didn’t want a family I could easily chosen that path.
The thing is, we all have the choice to make our own life decisions and I don’t understand why people choosing a child free life feel the need to justify their decisions. A recent post by an acquaintance made mention of how they can’t imagine their life being any happier… They don’t want to give up what they currently have.. Their pets feel like their children.. Their friends lives (became shit) changed when they had kids… It went on and on.
My point is you don’t know what your missing out on. So by all means choose your own path but during that process don’t try to justify your decision by reflecting negatively on others lives, for example this post mentioned “our friends didn’t have money to do fun things anymore” .. Translation.. Your friends lives changed when they had children and their priorities shifted, did you think of fun things (that didn’t cost much/anything) you could do with your friends now or did you just discard them because they didn’t fit in with your idea of a fun life? ….
I guess after reading the posts I really just wanted to give it the middle finger, awkwardly it’s entirely possible now with the emoji. My philosophy is to respect individuals and their own decision, but unfortunately I then expect the same in return. I don’t justify my decisions to people and they don’t need to justify them to me. Can’t we all just live harmoniously together?
The Authentic Mumma 
Literally took the words out of my mouth! I have very few friends for this reason. They are missing out on how cool he is, I’m not missing out anything
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That’s a shame! I recall as a kid my favourite family friends were those who didn’t have kids of their own, they loved to play (probably because they had energy and sleep!!) and they were interested in me as a person. It’s a shame your friends have missed this opportunity. And if we’re honest how hard is it to move cafe catch up dates to takeaway coffee to a park or playground or your home?
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It’s not! But I’m only 24, and they are my age or a year or 2 younger and they still like the bar scene. All fine and dandy for them, id just rather be at home with my little man.
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Great post! it’s awful when people feel the need to justify their lifestyle by putting down someone else’s. As someone who doesn’t have kids and currently has no intention of having kids I wish I had more people like you!
I find people often have negative things to day if I say we aren’t looking at having kids right now or worse yet if I’m honest. It’s like I’ve gone from being a decent person to a selfish one. I’ve even been told I’m missing out on the best part of life.
I love my friends’ kids and take opportunities to make sure to keep including them in my life and they do the same. We understand that we live different lives and have different priorities but are respectful of that.
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Thanks for your comment!!
That’s so sad that people have been negative about your life choice, I think it’s incredibly positive that you are self aware enough to know what you actually want out of life and aren’t afraid to go after it!
It sounds as though you’ve got a great bunch of friends & 👍🏼👍🏼 for being interested and involved in their lives. I think some resentment comes from parents who thought friendships would endure life changes but find that they aren’t seen as the same people they were before just with some extra responsibilities!
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