To the new Mum in the Fruit Shop: 

To the Mum in the fruit shop – breastfeeding your 6 week old (I only know this because I overheard you tell someone); while carrying your basket and doing your shopping, I think you are amazing! 

I wanted to turn around and tell you, but without having my child with me I thought it might seem like I’m a weirdo. 

You seemed to do it all so effortlessly, you may not think that’s how you appear, but you do. I wish I’d had the confidence to do that with my baby, but you know what, seeing women do that make me thing, I could do that. And you know what even if one person sees and thinks I can do that, then that’s us all working towards the normalization of breastfeeding.  

So to you – the lady in the fruit shop, you are a legend! 

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Pregnancy Phobia

So it turns out Pregnancy Phobia is a real thing. It also turns out that a woman at my workplace suffers from it (is “suffers” the right term? I don’t know) but anyway incase you missed it – I’m a pregnant woman. 

I’d never heard of this phobia before and when my colleagues warned me about our other colleagues phobia I didn’t really take it seriously. You see, at work I’m there to work. Sure I’ll have a chat to my colleagues about whatever but I won’t instigate speaking about my pregnancy. That’s just a bit weird and personal. Although I have been asked some awkward questions from time to time and I try to give the best awkward/TMI responses to those! 

Anyway so we managed to get to about 19 weeks before I wore a fitted top /it was obvious and then things became weird. 

It’s a bit of a shame really, because as a person I thought she had a great personality and I thought we clicked. But the obvious avoiding is now in its 2nd week and honestly I don’t understand it. I want to say just pretend I’m getting really fat! We can ignore this, just go back to being normal. 

Has anyone else experienced this? Or has a phobia of pregnant women, if so give me some tips! 

Preparing for a newborn – round 2

It’s funny I’m constantly comparing myself to the mother-to-be I was 2 years ago and boy am I different. 

After having my first child I’m less worried about “getting everything organised” Ie. Buying everything we could possibly need for a child. I remember a friend touching base with me just before our first arrived. She has 3 kids and said all you really need is somewhere for them to sleep, some clean clothes, nappys and wipes. And you know what… She was right. All those extra things we have are great (well the majority! There’s some things I shake my head over the money wasted). But you don’t actually need that much for when baby comes home. 

This time round I know what I actually need for baby, and if there was some kind of emergency item we absolutely have to have, then we’ll go and buy it then. But this time the emphasis is on preparing our 2 year old. Getting her moved into a “big girl bedroom” and helping her to try to understand how our lives are about to change. That in itself is going to be a challenge and who knows how successful we’ll be. 

It’s amusing looking back and seeing the shift in perspective. 

How did you prepare for a new baby

The types of newborn mothers

I’ve realised since becomming a parent, there are a bunch of different types of parents out there, and while I’m not across all the types of toddler parents (I’m still consumed by that whirlwind), I have come to some conclusions about newborn mothers. 

“The everything is fine mother”: the mother who you ask how things are going and you get the standard “everything is fine”. You respond with the standard, that’s great. Because what else can you say. You hope behind closed doors things are as good as they make out. 

“The realist”: The mother that can have a laugh at the craziness of being sleep deprived, but crack a joke because they know this is only a phase. The parent who will have honest conversations, who realises that life will never be what it was before, but isn’t chasing that life either. 

The “attention needer”: if their kid has a cold, is grumpy or feels like “the meanest person ever” for taking their kid for immunizations , you will know about it because their Facebook feed is a constant stream of drama. 

“The competitor”: how do you know a pilots in the room? Because they’ll tell you. It’s very similar to the competitor mother. You didn’t even realise you were a part of “the competition” except she thinks you are and she’s determined to win. Your kids not sleeping thru the night, not poo’ing everyday, then you are the looser (in her eyes anyway).

“The quiet achiever”: the mother who goes about her business of mothering, not seeking a medal for her achievements. She’s polite, interested in your journey and will only tell you about hers if you ask. She’s the mum who even if she had something to boast about wouldn’t. 

The newborn stage is hectic and I guess when we break it down it’s a lot about survival mechanisms. What kind of newborn mothers have you encountered? 

Pregnancy Pressure

And I’m not talking about that pressure on your bladder! 

Has anyone else experienced the incessant questions? This time around they’ve either changed from last time or their just annoying me more. The pregnancy fogs stopping me from clearly deciphering the difference! 

This time is about our/my decisions: 

  • Are you making it Facebook official ? Yeah coz the basketball under my shirt isn’t going to pop out until it’s on Facebook. Ha 
  • Are you going to have a surprise this time? Because finding out at 20 weeks for when you give births is still technically the same number of surprises you’ll get, your just getting it earlier. And for an organizer like me it would kill me, not having all the outfits purchased, washed and organised in the wardrobe. I may have done an inventory list this weekend. Yep 
  • Have you told (insert friends name) yet? Followed by: why not? I guess she’ll find out eventually. Guess what, Weve told our nearest and dearest, if we haven’t specifically told someone then read between the lines. 
  • How do you think Miss 2 will go? Who the f knows?! But guess what we’re going to find out soon enough. And it’s not like we can put the baby back if she doesn’t like it. I’m sure she will be just fine eventually. But thanks for point out how challenging it might be, I hadn’t realized that for myself. 
  • Would you like a coffee? I mean can I get you a decafe, no caffeine for you! Actually I haven’t had a coffee today, don’t make it a decafe I need the hit, get me a small! (How about you don’t try to control me, thanks much appreciated!) 

Perhaps it’s me, maybe I’m more sensitive. Actually yes I am. But really… How hard is it to be positive and mind your own business! 

Part 2. Awkward Things Toddlers Say

This time last week I was basking in the beautiful silence of grocery shopping by myself after our house guests had departed. Beautiful beautiful silence. 

Somewhere midweek our next wave arrived and let’s just say there’s very little quiet. 

The constant attention of adults I think is wearing very thin on our two year old. She’s in some desperate need of some space. 

To the point yesterday where my husband took everyone but her and I to the beach just to give her some independent time. I should add that she found me on the couch and we snuggled watching cartoons for a good half hour *actual bliss*. 

So if we rewind to Friday night, 2 nights into the stay, we are in our bathroom getting her showered and changed into pj’s and thankfully we are out of earshot of anyone else in our home when Miss 2 says “I want Grandma to go home” (my husband and I exchange a look, trying not to laugh) … Followed by “I don’t like her”. Oh my god. Yep total awkward toddler moment. 

Luckily that topic hasn’t popped up again, I don’t know how we’d address it if it did *awks*. 

The things 2 year olds say… 

I love the things my two year old says, sometimes they’re funny, sometimes thought provoking and other times simply heart meltingly cute. 

Last week we became first time Auntie, Uncle and Cousin. During our first visit to our new family member Miss 2 had a quick glance, realised her cousin isn’t big enough for play yet and requested that we leave. Thankfully for us, my husband quickly diffused the situation providing a packet of Peppa Pig saltanas for Miss 2 “from her new cousin”. Winning, that bought 10 more minutes of chat before we really had to leave. 

Fast forward to yesterday when we got to visit the new little family at their house. Miss 2 was offered a hold and jumped at the opportunity, she carefully sat on the sofa, not moving while we placed the tiny little baby in her arms, she beamed at the camera (something she refuses at the moment for us) and gently held her little cousin (while 3 adults hovered around here anticipating a move at any moment! 

Anyway it went perfectly. Last night at bedtime she was doing her usual procrastination over going to sleep when she proudly told us that “auntie and uncle trusted me to hold their baby” 

It was totally adorable. 

In stark contrast to what I was greeted with on my return home from work tonight “Friday we are going to hunt seals” – umm that’s disturbing. What she means is they are going to see rescued seals later in the week! 

Bedtimes are the cutest though, she tells us she is thinking about what we need for “our baby” whilst putting her index finger to her mouth. 

What shall we call “our baby”? Last weeks suggestion was Henry the octopus, the week prior was Baby Jake, I’m thinking Tv is having too greater influence! 

Ahhhh I love 2 year olds, they are total entertainment and the way they think is just incredible. 

Hear that … That’s silence 

I’m a social person, I love having house guests and friends and family over, as much as I may whine about it sometimes. 

But today after 1 hour of all our Christmas guests leaving, that sweet sweet sound of silence is amazing, I’m totally loving it. 

I got a holiday near ending jolt yesterday to realise that I would have one full day of just our family of 3 before I start back at work this week. I hadn’t calculated the days/time off very well. But that full day turned out to be half a day with flight cancellations. Anyhoo, today I’m just going to enjoy the silence and enjoy the fact that tomorrow morning it’s just myself that I need to coordinate – no daycare for another week. Yay no school lunches to prepare! 

It’ll be like being on holiday still except going back to work 😉

The post NYE hangover

Today we were wondering down the street in the sun, enjoying the tranquility, and may I add feeling pretty good. 

You see New Years this year for me was a pizza, movie and bed by 10.30pm (which may I add is 2 hours later than what it has been for the last 3 months!) so I felt almost rebellious. 

As we wondered past the Pizza Hutt and there were a group of young people (us 4 years ago) big sunnies, munching on junk food, nursing the worst hangovers – you could just tell. The 4 of us concluded as soon as we were past them. I started to feel really good about where we are at in life and that wasn’t us! 

We used to have the best New Years, we loved them then, but as you get older the recovery gets harder. And now with a 2 year old you couldn’t pay me to wake with a hangover at 5am to then begin the daily negotiations that you have with a 2 year old whilst you feel under the weather. 

Yeah, it’s funny how life changes and how our now “boring” life feels pretty good.