Working Mum Guilt

This week marks 1 year, 1 year of being a working parent. This year has flown by compared to those long weeks of being a stay at home mum. While we’ve been lucky that we’ve both adjusted so well to the change, last week was the first week I actually felt what working mum guilt feels like … 

My almost 2 year old had a cold and wasn’t feeling her normal self and we were about to leave the house to head to daycare and work. She pats the couch beside her and says “mummy daddy home day?” My heart broke into a million pieces. 

The thing is, when you go back to work your baby gets sick A LOT. It takes a long time for their immune system to get strong, I’m thinking by the time she goes to actual school it’ll be like a ninja immune system. So when your taking weeks off for hand, foot and mouth disease, weeks off for chest and ear infections when they get a little cold you don’t have any option other than sending them. You feel as though your constantly walking on a tight rope of balancing keeping your family well and happy and attending work and keeping your boss happy. 

What you’d give to take off those days where your little person just doesn’t feel like doing daycare that day, but that isn’t an option. Your heart breaks just a little. 

Advertisements

High 5… Teamwork

This is my nearly 2 year olds new catch phrase. It’s emerged in the last 24 hours and she uses it in context. 

We do little jobs around the house, while I’m putting the laundry away her job is putting the tea towels in the draw. When we finish I get “Mummy high 5 ✋ Teamwork! ” 

Her father helps her wash her hands and face after eating “Daddy high 5 ✋ teamwork!” 

It’s halarious and also a bit creepy. How does a 2 year old pick up a concept such as teamwork… I know they observe our every move but how could she pick up the concept and the term from us… I’m going to put it down to daycare or tv. 

Incey wincy is gone…

It’s not unusual for my little miss to start singing when we get into the car. That’s why I didn’t think anything of her starting “Incey Wincy Spider” as soon as we pulled out of the driveway. I even joined in with her. 

After the song was finished I hear from the back seat “spider gone” – I wonder if I’ve misheard, but sure enough she tells me the spider was on the window. I’m not afraid of spiders, let’s be clear. But where we live spiders aren’t just little size of a coin varieties. They are if your going to hit them with your shoes they’re going to leave a mess size. And if one crawled across my dash as I’m driving I’m not sure what I’d do … 

So the next 2.5 minutes were intense .. Until I pulled up to daycare and turned the car inside out. I’m hoping that bad boy was on the outside 

Toddlers are crazy!

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that my toddler is crazy.

Their moods swings are more intense than any PMS, they say “no” when they mean yes, their completely unpredictable and the have zero fear. Well at least my almost 2 year old doesn’t.

Yesterday took the cake for us. My little human wanted a cuddle so I lift her up and we have a cuddle before we headed off to school. I’m busy telling her how much I love her and she’s giving me the best cuddle, both arms wrapped around my neck and the next minute I feel this odd wet feeling on my shoulder. I look down and say “what was that?” She responds “I bite you Mummy” . Yes, nothing like starting the day with a bite to the shoulder?!

So as any working parent will know getting out of the house when your tight for time is nearly impossible, theres always the decision over which pair of shoes the toddler wants to wear which manages to take a full 5 minutes – especially the days when you don’t have 5 spare minutes. Yesterday as we were leaving the house with our biting incident behind us, we were doing the dash to the car. As the garage door starts closing our almost 2 year old turns and runs back into the garage – with the door steadily closing… Oh my gosh, heart attack moment. I quickly shut it off and ran back in. She’s giggling with pure joy “hide and seek mummy!” Oh my !

Yes, this week I think my toddler has gone mad!

Unsolicited Advice

As mothers we pretty much attempt to be Wonder Woman EVERY DAY. Some days it works out and other days don’t. But that goes with the territory. 

Sometimes when we’re out in public with our mini superheros people volunteer advice on how we should improve our parenting. The approaches vary and I’m still yet to figure how to respond. 

Tonight on Facebook I saw a post a high school friend had made about her son. Since I’m not clever enough to blank out names I’ll need to write out how the post went. 

NEW MUM: my son has grown 4cm in the last 2 weeks, that explains him being unsettled lately! 

ADVICE GIVER: sometimes when at age, weight, length appropriate they need solids introduced into their diet. 

NEW MUM: he’s only 2 months old, I’m going to wait until he’s 4 months old and only then if he shows interest in food. His weight gain is perfect for his age. But thanks though. 

ADVICE GIVER: I know, your welcome. But sometimes they need a little extra, especially in the winter. 

It continues, but you get the point! 

Guess what advice giver… That’s really bad advice! I’m loving the fact that the Mum didn’t back down and told the person exactly why she wouldn’t be taking her advice. GO MOMMA! 

I felt pretty bad suggesting the mum check out an app that helps you see your babies development milestones and helps predict unsettled periods – but luckily she knew about it and was already loving it!  I loved being prepared for the unsettled times (or weeks) with having my important errands run and groceries in the refridgerator. That way I knew I could put super woman on hold for a day or so and chill with my baby. Even if that mean lot and lots of cuddles and not much achieved around the house. 

I guess we all have different approaches and things that worked for us. But the unsolicited advice I saw this woman dishing out tonight… I’m still speechless! 

Doing some good 

A few days ago I had a great chat with a friend,  I came out of it inspired to do good. 

My friend is one of those beautiful, selfless, giving types, the type of people we should aspire to be. She’s currently balancing family life, work and studying to be a social worker. 😇 right!

We had been talking about the state of the education system in the country which we grew up in, which turned into talk about the stark differences between those who have, and those who have not. Sometimes as I’m going about being a parent I start to feel guilty for what my child has. Because there are kids out there that don’t have warm winter clothing, school lunch, let alone swimming lessons.

My friend told me how she tries to do things where she can, for instance packing a little bit extra in her daughters lunchbox for another girl who didn’t have much in her school lunch, or collecting spare clothing to give to people who need it. 

It’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in our own existence without sparing a thought for those in our communities who might’ve fallen on tough times. Normally I’d send bags of clothing to charity, and I know that helps these organisations provide support to people who need it. But this time around I’m going to reach out to my local online mothers group and see if the winter clothes my daughters grown out of could help another Mum. 

Are there small things you could do to help out people in your community? 

Inside my Hospital Bag – my essentials

Yesterday I was helping a friend brainstorm what she needs for her impending arrival. I was going thru the things I had in my hospital bag and the things I wished I thought about. 

From the 30 week mark a sense of calm washed over me, combining this with the terrible procrastination I suffer from it wasn’t overly productive. I thought packing my hospital bag would be a great idea during the early stages of labour! 

My husband disagreed and insisted I got on with it. So I did a very average job of packing. But here are the things I had which were great and the things I wished I’d packed! 

Maternity pads

Allow 1 pack per day. This is something I didn’t realize. I really liked the Libra ones with aloe. 

 

Nursing pads
 

I tried them all. These are the ones I found to be the softest (on your tender bits) and most secure. They are sometimes in short supply at my local supermarkets and chemists so whenever they were on sale I’d stock up. 

  

Mini Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash

You need a little bit of luxury after just having a baby. This would be an ideal thing to buy a mum-to-be for her hospital bag. 

  


Black pajama pants or yoga pants
Black is a great colour to wear incase of any unexpected leakages. 
Maternity singlets 

Prices vary as does quality. Initially I bought some cheaper ones which I found weren’t easy to get access and didn’t handle being washed frequently. I then tried the more expensive Bonds Maternity Tank. I wished I’d tried these first. The clips are high quality and they wash beautifully. Mine took a thrashing and still looked semi decent. They are worth the price tag – they are frequently on sale so scope out the sales. I picked mine up for around $25

  


Organic cotton zip onesies – Purebaby Essentials Growsuit 

These are the beautifully soft onesies I had at the hospital for my little girl. The fabric is just beautiful and the zips make change time simple and fast. 

  


Snacks! 

Snacks for you or your husband/support person. I put in some mueslie bars and threw in some bananas on our way out the door. In hindsight a few extra things would’ve been great because let’s be honest hospital food isn’t flash. Almonds, chocolate, dried fruit, perhaps some pear juice. 

Last but not least – nipple cream. This is the stuff you want 

 
There are tonnes of things you can pack, these are my essentials. 

Those friends

Ive been writing a lot recently about friends and friendship, I guess after you become a parent your life changes so much and your connections with people matter more. 

Today I was thinking about how grateful I am for those friends who make it easy for us to be that ‘that same person’ I was pre-child. I’ll explain …

I’m talking about those friends who suggest a catch up, offer to come to you and come with their arms bearing gifts of cake, coffee, or food of any description! Or the friends who offer to meet you at a playground so your little people can play and you can both follow them around chatting at the same time. Or those friends who know you have a babysitter and clear their schedule so you can all go out together, but don’t get upset when you call it a night at midnight because in 5-6 hours you’ll be up to a toddler and you better hope your in the mindset to cut their toast into the right shapes! 

These are the people who make spending time with them a joy and refil your tank when your running on empty. These are the people who when their time comes to become parents or parents again I will remember. I’ll remember to take moments to check in on them, I’ll remember what it was like to have a small baby, or a crawling baby or a wild toddler. I’ll remember and endevour to make their life that little bit easier by doing small things that will have positive effects on their day. 

These are the friendships and connections which I will nurture and be grateful for. 
Image cred: quotesvalley.com

The stand-off

Ive just had a half-an-hour stand off with my almost 2 year old. I’m not sure there was a winner. 

It makes me wonder is it worth it? The tears, tantrums and overall drama just to get her to take a bite of chicken. 

I can see how people choose to give up, I really can. But isn’t it different when you’ve taken time out to prepare a home cooked meal. If it was packet food id mind a lot less throwing that away. 

Anyway so the negotiation began and the deal ended up being 1 bite of chicken for her youghurt and strawberries. We got there in the end but oh my… 

Now I’m wondering if we’ll be having a battle of wills tonight when it comes to her first night in her big girl bed. Ahhh the life of a parent eh