Mothers Group for 1

I sit here in a cafe ordering a muffin and a coffee, we’re going to call this morning Mothers group for 1. As a second time Mum I was unsure if I needed a mothers group because I’d been there and done that. It turns out you’re never too experienced to get something out of a new tribe of women. 

Today though when my little one woke with a runny nose I knew the catch up planned wasn’t going to work. As a second time Mum I know kids get sick, it seems like they get sick often! But I won’t be the Mum that exposes a bunch of baby’s to germs – even though the chances are they’ll get sick soon too – from someone else’s bugs. I don’t want the new mums cursing me at midnight as they tend to their snuffled up babe. 

So I sit here with my coffee and muffin hoping my babe will fall asleep in her pram, thinking one of the big differences between new mums and second mums is the “rush”. The first time mums have been keen to try activities with the mothers group. Whereas I’m keen for now for the mothers group to be about the mums, coffee and catch ups, bubs sleeping in prams or playing with toys on the grass. If the kids aren’t on the move why not lap up these waning weeks and let the catch ups be for us. As not a new Mum I know that once the kids are on the move the game changes and then life is all about keeping our babes happy and entertained. But for now let’s be selfish, let’s let these mornings be for us, god knows having company one morning a week is something to look forward to, let’s not hurry this stage of mummyhood. 

So today with my babe and her runny nose, we will sit and chill in a cafe, babe sleeping in her pram and mumma in blogging land, lapping it up. 

Things that are saving my life ~ 2 kids 8 weeks in

8 weeks into being a family of 4 and there’s some things which I’m even more in love with than I first thought. 

Our Smart Tv, a few months back we had to replace our tv (which was only 3 years old, apparently this is normal nowadays but it totally pissed me off – Anyhoo) we bought a smart tv and boy am I’m glad we did. At the touch of a button I can launch Netflix, you tube and any of the catch up tv websites – so if I’ve gone to bed early with the new baby never fear when we get up somewhere in the early hours we can watch that prime time show we’d missed because we were snoozing! Now that’s winning. The other benefit of You Tube on the tv is that Miss almost 3 has a new love for kids yoga so with a few clicks I can bring up her favourite “frozen yoga” – yes there is such a thing and yes it keeps her occupied for at least half an hour! Now that’s winning!  

The next thing is my FITBIT I never thought that a. I would wear one and b. That I would be addicted but both are true. Firstly it tracks my sleep which I love, having broken nights sleep sucks but it comes with the territory, the beauty of the sleep tracker is that it tells you how much sleep you’ve had even if it’s broken sleep. I’ve found the nights where I’ve had little sleep I’ve been able to recognize this and make a point of daytime catch ups. It’s not just the sleep tracker that’s great there are so many awesome features to write about, but if your keen to keep active and are easily addicted/motivated by stats then it’s the product for you. I even wore mine during labour out of curiosity – but that’s a whole blog post on its own! 

Our Slow Cooker, seriously this thing saves my sanity every time I use it. Throw a bunch of things in there when you can find 5 minutes when your baby/kids are occupied and come 5.30pm dinner will be ready. It’s like a magical unicorn has rode into your home delivering food that tastes like you’ve been slaving over the stove all day. I just can’t get enough of this thing! 

For now these are the things which are saving time, motivating and entertaining me with a new baby in the house. I’m sure if I had one of those robotic vacuums them that would be on this list too 😉

The Newborn Bubble

It’s just occurred to me I’ve been living in the Newborn Bubble for 4.5 weeks and life has carried on for everyone around me yet I’ve been so swept up in our own existence I haven’t stopped to check in with those around me or further away. 

So my question is, when days fly by with 2 kids and night of little sleep seem to drag, how long is ok to be in the bubble before your officially a selfish asshole? 

Kids are always listening!

A few weeks back I shared a story about our commute to daycare/work where my Miss 2.5 in the backseat of the car had been listening to the news and caught me off guard with a question which I never would have anticipated a 2 year old asking. 

Surprise surprise today she was listening again, perhaps I really should be playing The Wiggles (as she likes to tell me!) 

So I must have been entirely zoned out driving along when Miss 2.5 asks me if everyone has arms?  I had no idea where the question was coming from… Queue thinking on my feet, pre-caffeine, how is the best way to answer this question… My response “umm.. most people have arms, why’s that?” 

She starts telling me she thinks I’m right because she has arms, I have arms, daddy has arms, her friends have arms… And so on, until we roll up at school and she changes the topic to the spider who lives in the tree in the carpark. Phew! 

As I’m walking out of the classroom I can’t help but wonder where the f did that come from? 

Next minute I turn on the car, the radio starts and I realise its Body acceptance week on the radio station I listen to and this morning they were speaking to people who had amputations and limb differences! Shit I think to myself, they are really listening to everything, all… the…. time! 

What would you like for Mothers Day?

That’s the question my husband asked me this afternoon. 

I’ll set the scene before I explain the rest of our conversation and how it went down. I’m 27 weeks pregnant, we have a 2 year old, I work full time, it’s summer and the humidity at the moment is killing me. Bring on winter is all I can say. 

So any Mum will attest being asked what they’d like for Mothers Day is awesome because we can ask for something that’s selfishly for us, something we wouldn’t buy for ourselves. 

A few weeks back I made the mistake of going into a store which I should not have gone into. Mostly because it’s a shop I loved pre-child with my disposable income. So I quickly responded to his question with “a handbag”. His immediate response was “I was thinking of getting you some personal training sessions”. 

[insert WT..actual..FUCK] what kind of monster did I marry?! Surprisingly enough I didn’t loose my shit right then and there. I stewed on it for a few hours before telling him how insulting that was. 

He has now realised what a ginormous fuck up that was. 

On Authenticity….

If you’ve followed my blog for awhile or if this is your first time reading (thanks & welcome) you will know that I’m constantly striding to be my most authentic self. 

I remember one of the very first blogs I stumbled across was a Mom    Amber who wrote from her heart about her struggle with post natal depression, it was insightful, honest and authentic, it was also inspiring. It led to months of deliberation as to how I could express what I thought and be ‘ok’ with putting it out there. {Check out Amber’s blog “when depression creeps into motherhood”  Read it here! }  

It’s amazing the connections we make in the virtual world through authenticity and today it’s got me thinking, how do we encourage our real life peers to be their most honest selves? How do we get people to see that by them showing us their imperfect self it leads us to love them even more? 

For example, there’s another working Mum who I’m becoming friends with, last night we ‘bonded’ over our untidy homes and how our friends need to overlook this when they visit!  In reality they probably aren’t that bad, but we’ve made the conscious decision to leave constantly tidying for spending precious time with our kids.  

It gets me thinking, when we have these REAL interactions with people and friends, how much better does it leave us feeling? I love it. But then how are we best to approach friends who aren’t being real? You know the people who present their lives like everything is perfect 24/7 – when we all know that having kids, toddlers or babies is not plain sailing all the time, there’s ups and downs and it’s all normal. 

So how do you encourage real and authenticity in your relationships? 

2 year old tantrums

In the last few weeks we have hit the tantrum zone with full force, I may have been naive to think we might miss it and go straight into the ‘threenager’ but no. 

Tonight’s epic meltdown started after I’d extracted corn that she’d pushed up into her nose and after it was out we spoke about why we don’t put things, even corn up our noses and she gave it another go. 

Seriously corn up your nose kid… What are you doing?? 

So the tantrum was because at this point the remaining corn was removed from her dinner plate. If you heard it you would have thought something utterly terrible had happened. Our neighbours must be wondering! 

The conclusion I’ve come to is, 2 year olds are incredibly complex

Santa you jerk!

It’s mid February and my 2.5yr old still has a beef with Santa. 

You would think she would’ve forgotten about it by now, but clearly the scars of not getting a skateboard are still raw. 

I just overheard the bedtime conversation between my husband and Miss 2.5 – Miss 2.5 questioning why Santa forgot her skateboard? And my husbands explanation that by the time he put the scooter and cubby house in the sleigh there was no more room! Miss 2.5 seems to be understanding the logic but is still annoyed.
 Any guesses how long the beef will last? And any tips on how we can avoid Santa bringing one next year? We spend enough time at doctors and dentists as it is without adding skateboard injuries to the mix!! 

Real Mumma’s

How refreshing are “real” mummas?! I love it when you hear Mums being real with each other. 

Today we were at a 1st birthday party and while the majority of the mums are onto their 2nd or 3rd baby there was one mum there with a 3 month old. I overheared one of the experienced mums give some support by way of sympathizing with how challenging the 3 month stage is and ask the mum directly if she’s had her exhaustion induced “break down” yet? 

I loved hearing a more experience mother put a new mum at ease by normalizing what we all go thru at one time or another. So many people are so intent on putting up these beautiful “walls” of “everything is ok” they forget we are all in the same boat and experiencing very similar things. 

I love REAL MUMS! Let’s all be real or get real. 

2 Year Old Questions … Asylum Seekers

My 2 year old daughter and I were doing our morning commute one day this week when the 8am news came on the radio. I didn’t think much of it, I was driving along listening, but what I didn’t realise is that my 2 year old was listening too. 

The major story was regarding the relocation of asylum seekers to Nauru, including babies and children. Pediatricians had given advice to the government that the children which they had examined who had been in detention in Nauru were some of the most traumatized children they’d ever encountered. 

Shortly after the news, my daughter asked me “mummy where are they sending the babies?” “Why are they doing that?” 

A two year old asking the question. 

As a parent how do you answer that. I’m sure her ears perked up when she heard “baby” because in the context of her life she is surrounded by babies. 

The only quick response I could muster was “I hope they don’t baby”. … 

Everyone has an opinion on what should/shouldn’t be done. But let’s for a moment put our parent hats on. What if this was us? What if our home lands were too dangerous/volitile for us to remain there? What if out of desperation fled to a foreign land then risked being deported to a detention center where our security and safety was once again at risk? 

We are parents. If we allow this to happen to other families how do we justify that to our children?